“That feeling called home”

Hold on tight to that person who gives you the feeling of being at home. I got lucky and met someone just like that. I call him my best friend, someone I laugh with, show my tears to, well – you can say I am unguarded when he is around and that is my freedom. I do act beyond stupid all the time and he is crazy enough to appreciate that and love me more for all the madness. There are times when we get a little serious and talk about life and somehow he brings a funny twist to the conversation and I just wonder how he does that so easily. There are times I scream at him, am rude beyond belief and throw tantrums – he pauses for a second, looks at me, gives me a look… and cracks a joke or breaks into a dance – right in the middle of the road.

I can’t help but laugh.

I feel… God has his amazing ways. I know he is making up to me.

I know what you’re doing God. Thank you!!! When I was crying, I never asked you why. I knew it. I knew there was a reason. This is the reason…

V and I


That strange feeling

You don’t fall in love one day. You keep on falling, throughout your life together, as days pass, as you grow, as you get to know each other better.

I told him I had fallen for him, a few months ago. I hardly knew him then the way I do now, neither did he. We just had a feeling that this is it. That this person is the one.

I keep saying random I love yous as I feel it.

And in March this year we got engaged.

But just a few days ago, I was doing something in the kitchen… a song playing in the background, mindlessly chopping the veggies… and I felt something strong and strange, all of a sudden. I felt I was in love. Like really, really in love. Even more than the day before.

And I realized that love does not happen one fine day. It does not even come and go; it stays. It’s a feeling that has it’s own mind, moods and days – good and bad, high and low. There is love in indifference, there is love in crankiness, there is love in anger and there is love in lust. There is love in pride, there is love in jealousy, there is love in the separation.

And I know, over the coming years, I will come across these strange feelings again and again – for him. Because I will keep getting to know him better, every day. And he will keep making me believe that I am capable of this thing called love. To love and to be loved. The crux of me.



I love you, too.

Exchanging an I love you before hanging up the call is all good, but the ones that come mid-sentence while the other one is still talking are all heart. I love those. And I give those.

I believe, we must say it when we want to. Same goes for the hugs and kisses.

Express, just express yourself.





Most of the times when we get hurt, we shut off. No way will the world get to know I am hurt. Not because I am strong..but because I am so weak to accept that someone has the power to hurt me, to pinch me, to unintentionally or intentionally hurt my fragile, over sensitive heart.

I say – never give that power to someone. But then, we get close to people. Closer to a few… and closest to one. These are the ones who are most probable to meet that part of you that you hide so well from the world.

“Are you ok?”

“I am fine.”

These people would know you’re not fine. And I still don’t know if that’s a blessing.

For I am a little too arrogant to accept that anyone in the world has the power to hurt me. I am still closed, I am still not ready to accept that love is unconditional. I am still cynical. I am still protecting myself.

But afraid I am fuckin unsafe now.