“That feeling called home”

Hold on tight to that person who gives you the feeling of being at home. I got lucky and met someone just like that. I call him my best friend, someone I laugh with, show my tears to, well – you can say I am unguarded when he is around and that is my freedom. I do act beyond stupid all the time and he is crazy enough to appreciate that and love me more for all the madness. There are times when we get a little serious and talk about life and somehow he brings a funny twist to the conversation and I just wonder how he does that so easily. There are times I scream at him, am rude beyond belief and throw tantrums – he pauses for a second, looks at me, gives me a look… and cracks a joke or breaks into a dance – right in the middle of the road.

I can’t help but laugh.

I feel… God has his amazing ways. I know he is making up to me.

I know what you’re doing God. Thank you!!! When I was crying, I never asked you why. I knew it. I knew there was a reason. This is the reason…

3ig
V and I

 

A rehab would be nice.

We live in the age where humans crave the company of gadgets more than fellow humans. And what do they do with those gadgets? Connect with humans.
 
I don’t crave the ‘connection’ anymore, I don’t want to know what’s up with your life, I mean, if I really wanted to know – I’d ask you, not look into your profile. It’s just easy isn’t it…to peep in, see the latest pictures, check-ins, blah blah and just figure out what someone has been up to. But it’s mostly an assumption.
 
Do you post pictures of you when you are upset? Do your friends get to know when you are having a terrible day? Heck, they wouldn’t know if you are running a fever unless you post an update on Twitter or Facebook or an Instagram/Snapchat story hashtagged #Sick
I don’t blame anyone. We all are just so “busy”…and what are we busy with…
 
posting updates – App by App.
 
The stress of modern life – Poor WiFi.
 
How about holding the hand of that poor wife, for a change? :p
 
How about dressing up for love and not for the “OOTDs”
 
Eat food when it is served, it’s meant to be had hot, as the chef would appreciate. Imagine, someone working their ass off in the kitchen but you….you would not eat it and dare anybody pick up a portion before you take a picture of that delicacy, apply the necessary filter, post it on an app…or two, feel satisfied as if you made a point.

 
“I eat too.”
There are days when I binge-post. There are days when I delete WhatsApp, de-activate some apps from my phone and get back once I feel a little sane. And then it starts again.
 
I travel in the Delhi Metro very often. And trust me, all the necks are down, the thumbs are twiddling, the faces are deadpan – it looks scary and abnormal…as if I suddenly entered another planet where people don’t speak, don’t exchange smiles, don’t converse, don’t bother anymore. All they need is that phone like an oxygen mask – like a survival kit.
 
Have you noticed how cranky people get when the WiFi is down or when the phone charger is not around?
 
Have you noticed someone standing alone and trying to take selfies after selfies but not getting the right shot and feeling so agitated as if it’s the end of the world.
 
Have you noticed how people try to pose sexy and just look good in all the pictures, no trace of a genuine smile?
Do the number of “likes” or hearts on your latest profile picture affect your self-confidence?
 
Does the absence of a good morning message from your boyfriend make you feel he loves you any less?
 
Have you had issues because the person obviously read your message but did not reply? Thanks (or no thanks) to the blue ticks.
 
Do you realize how much this sucks? 🙂
 
A rehab would be nice.
 
A rehab would be really nice.
 

Just me. 

That time of the week when I need to get away. Yeah, it happens once every week, either closer to the weekend or after it. 

What is it that I am looking for? The eternal quest for that something … I can’t put a finger on. 

For now, I don’t want to know what’s happening in the lives of all these people (close, not so close, acquaintances and strangers) so I have extracted myself out of all these spaces like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat & Instagram. Starting today, I am reconnecting with the self, maybe that’s what’s missing. I tried it earlier but failed…no shame. I have neglected myself, no shame. But now, knowing that it’s harming my very essence, if I still neglect the problem – it’s all my fault. 

I am glad I have the gift of expression through the medium of the written word. Exploring .. happily. This feels good. It does feel good! 

I am going to check out a hotel where my parents are planning to get me and my love married to each other. Eeeeeee. Yes, bride to be. I have all things wedding on my head and a few more….

Next post : A few photos from my weekend trip to Kasauli in Himachal Pradesh, India. 

Love,

Dipti 

Unhide, please.

I hide. I feel safer when I hide myself. Safe in my comfort zone. But over time, it has hit me hard – the comfort zone actually turns out to be one of the most uncomfortable places in the world. So much so that I want to scream at myself sometimes for being unfair, for not letting myself be out there, for dismissing thoughts assuming – who will be even interested? Am I being overbearing? Am I overdoing it? Am I looking flashy? Am I coming across as a show-off? Should I tone it down? Am I offending anybody?

Well, that’s where you go wrong. When they come in the picture. When their notions about you become the priority and the deciding factor. When you stop yourself from expressing yourself because of your own insecurities and assumed ideas about how people would take it. So wrong. It is not your job to wonder what people would think. Your job is just to be you.

Break the box. Stop caring about them. Everybody is meant to shine. Everybody is a diamond. Seek to sparkle and you shall. 😘

1ds
and take loads of drunk selfies! 😉

Coming back to life.

I was having a quick chat with my close friend on WhatsApp. Yah, unfortunately that is where we get together because we don’t have the luxury to see each other in school every second day anymore.. but then, if I look back – we weren’t really close when we met each other 5 days of the week. It was only after going separate ways for a few years that we got close. How strange.

Anyway.

She was encouraging me to do something that I have barely even thought about, not even dreamt about – because 1) I underestimate myself, 2) I am directionless, 3) I like being lost

But I have aspirations close to what she suggested and I have vague dreams about seeing myself doing something like that. She also shared a very nice video on the Law of Attraction. Now I am a big believer in that since more than an year now and that is how I brought a lot of changes in my life. But a few months back,  I deviated from the track and got lost again.

Off late though, I have noticed how I am getting to see, read, come across all the things that I seriously need to inculcate. It’s like the universe helping me out because – trust me, what you seek is seeking you. And I have been seeking help – if not out loud but deep within, talking to myself, looking for answers, looking for a way – a hint, a sign, a direction to walk into.

And I feel…..I kind of see a light….

Exactly how I did, last year.

The hazy scene is sort of taking a shape of an idea that will come into a life form soon.

Thanks, friend.

Oh, in other news, this one’s finally getting over. Phew! What a long read it was. One word – BORING. No depth in the story.. just sex. But I can’t leave a book half-read. Obviously. So yeah, it’s almost over and I have a few lined up to read & this time, I will be quicker. Because as someone said, there are too many nice books out there to waste your time on trashy ones.

IMG_20170102_113118_508

 

Keep doing it.

That look on their faces, the glint in the eye… when they talk about what they are passionate about.

It could be any damn thing – nothing is big or small. The thing you are passionate about is the biggest in your universe. Others may not get it, not your concern. Don`t even bother explaining it. If it’s making you any money or not, who gives a damn, it feeds your soul right… that’s all that counts.

 

• Daily Doses •

It’s not easy, dealing with the monotony. We all have our favorite ‘things to do’. It could be reading, it could be driving long distances… it could be listening to that one favorite track everyday and dancing to it, cooking, work out, shopping (whynot) .. sketching .. doodling .. singing .. photography… playing the guitar…Basically, things that you do and enjoy your own company. YOUR THINGS. YOUR TIME. YOU.

Must – never – stop – doing – what – we – love 

I have been ignoring my favorites. And you know, when you do that.. over a period of time, you start being so frikkin dull – dull to be around yourself, dull to be around others. Never lose your essence. So what’s your essence? I am noting down mine, I have quite a few. Starting tomorrow (because today is already half gone!), I am going to make sure these things are a part of my 24 hours.. most of them, if not all.

Don’t you feel 24 hours are too less, that life is too short to enjoy it to the fullest. And time just passes, while we ignore so many things that we could be doing. What’s on my mind? Wait I will show you what exactly ..

terraoko-2013-12-08-02-10
| Source : Google Images. | Hello,  you two, this is amazing. I love it!

Oh. This is just so dreamy and something I HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO DO! I am sending this image to my fiancé right away. Well, I will not do it in the bridal outfit but definitely a month after the wedding, suuure! This is G O A L S.

Back to the daily doses. I have a few things that make me feel calmer, more in touch with myself and happier each time I do them. I will be talking about them in another post..as they keep popping up.

In no order of preference, writing is one thing that I absolutely enjoy doing. And WordPress gives me a nice platform to do that, I quite like it. I don’t have many/hardly any readers as of now, but then, it’s a blessing in disguise too because I write like no one’s reading! haha

So. I must do it, if not daily, then every second day. But considering my skyrocketing emotional levels these days – I might just park my ass here. 🙂

Ooh, I saw two lovely movies yesterday and today. Talk about them tomorrow.

Love,

Dipti

Sloshed, in love.

varunmepacific7
shot by him
Do you make a wish when you see 11:11?
I do.
Do you randomly send a “thank you” into the void?
I do.
Do you sometimes feel afraid of your happiness?
I…do, too.
Do you sing when you are alone?
Of course I do.
Did you let go of people who couldn’t stay..?
I did.
Do you wish them well..? Please do.
Do you miss them..?
No one is replaceable.
Do you feel insecure….fear attachments?
I do..
Naive, yet cynical.
Suspicious, yet gullible.
It does get a bit much at times, being human.
But for now….. all I want to do is TRUST.
Trust the answer to my 11:11 wishes.
Trust that the void has been filled with stars and flowers.
Trust I have no reason to feel afraid.
that my tuneless songs are loved..
trust the ones, who left, still love me,
trust the ones who stayed – will forever do.
Sloshed, in love.
xoxo.
D