Lover.

There are times when you make love to the keyboard and then there are times when you just punch keys. Today seems to be the latter.

Oh My God, though. I have a load inside my head, it’s like a diarrhea of thoughts (excuse the analogy!) dying to be poured on paper but then, everything wants to come out at the same time.

Breathe, my dear thoughts. You need to be channelized.

Agenda of the day, everyday: Amaze yourself. I did yesterday. I had a moment when I felt proud of myself..I also had a moment when I pissed myself off. But then, that keeps happening, me and my alter ego have this special relationship. Murderous….one of us has to go. Or maybe we can find a way to live together. Only if the one who lives outside my body can deal with her.

I must name her something..I keep bringing her up, she is showing up very often too. What do we call her? The child that she is… I love her. I would call her Lover.

Welcome Lover. We can talk here.

INTOYOULENSFLARE

 

Say hello to my alter ego.

Everything is mostly amazing. You have so much! A lot that a lot of people only wish for, can only dream about. You have been gifted that…

Because you deserve it. Either destined or you worked for it, waited for it – but you deserve it.

Why am I suddenly uncomfortable?

So uncomfortable I want to break something.

Ok. I know what it is. My phone’s fucked. It’s way too irritating !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photos : I smile more when …

When I cook. 

1pulao
Vegetable Pulao 

So, this happened today.

I am in awe of people who are good in kitchen. Well, I am not that bad but then, I am new there – so I won’t discredit myself either.

A lot of people would agree with me – cooking is therapy. It works like magic. That explains the title. The colors, the smell, the sounds. The way these ingredients mix and turn into something so appealing to your taste buds. Mmmmm….

Sourcing the ingredients, getting them ready, chopping and mixing, creating something yummy and presenting it is not the entire thing though. The icing on the cake is when someone you love eats it and takes another portion..

Simple joys of life.

Let’s cook with love…more often!

“The theme is blue” – the photographer plays dress up – part 1

It’s a weekend of birthday parties for me. Friday was a baby’s first and the theme was blue. As soon as someone invites you to a party with a theme, you mentally scan your entire wardrobe in a flash of a second and come to the conclusion that you have no clothes because the dresses in blue are hanging in the “will wear when i lose some weight’ corner. Life officially sucks. I am not a very “let’s dress up / what’s my OOTD??” kind of a person anyway. But wait a second, dig deeper, something definitely comes to the rescue. And it’s nice to make an effort sometimes. Now, blue is pretty darn easy! But when it comes to me – I have an issue with something on any given day. Yesterday, the issue (just as common as the theme) was weight 😀 But we managed. Me and my 59.5 kgs (as checked this morning, it was 60.5 last week, so I am happy anyway. The target is me being pretty fuckin ambitious but whatever – you can do anything and all that jazz.)

Let me share what I wore.

1av
A floral dress made out of my mom’s saari – I love it.

 

2av
Note to self : When in doubt, go for flowy florals and a stick a leg out, why not 😀

 

Someone loved it too *winkwink*

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think?? :*

“That feeling called home”

Hold on tight to that person who gives you the feeling of being at home. I got lucky and met someone just like that. I call him my best friend, someone I laugh with, show my tears to, well – you can say I am unguarded when he is around and that is my freedom. I do act beyond stupid all the time and he is crazy enough to appreciate that and love me more for all the madness. There are times when we get a little serious and talk about life and somehow he brings a funny twist to the conversation and I just wonder how he does that so easily. There are times I scream at him, am rude beyond belief and throw tantrums – he pauses for a second, looks at me, gives me a look… and cracks a joke or breaks into a dance – right in the middle of the road.

I can’t help but laugh.

I feel… God has his amazing ways. I know he is making up to me.

I know what you’re doing God. Thank you!!! When I was crying, I never asked you why. I knew it. I knew there was a reason. This is the reason…

3ig
V and I

 

A rehab would be nice.

We live in the age where humans crave the company of gadgets more than fellow humans. And what do they do with those gadgets? Connect with humans.
 
I don’t crave the ‘connection’ anymore, I don’t want to know what’s up with your life, I mean, if I really wanted to know – I’d ask you, not look into your profile. It’s just easy isn’t it…to peep in, see the latest pictures, check-ins, blah blah and just figure out what someone has been up to. But it’s mostly an assumption.
 
Do you post pictures of you when you are upset? Do your friends get to know when you are having a terrible day? Heck, they wouldn’t know if you are running a fever unless you post an update on Twitter or Facebook or an Instagram/Snapchat story hashtagged #Sick
I don’t blame anyone. We all are just so “busy”…and what are we busy with…
 
posting updates – App by App.
 
The stress of modern life – Poor WiFi.
 
How about holding the hand of that poor wife, for a change? :p
 
How about dressing up for love and not for the “OOTDs”
 
Eat food when it is served, it’s meant to be had hot, as the chef would appreciate. Imagine, someone working their ass off in the kitchen but you….you would not eat it and dare anybody pick up a portion before you take a picture of that delicacy, apply the necessary filter, post it on an app…or two, feel satisfied as if you made a point.

 
“I eat too.”
There are days when I binge-post. There are days when I delete WhatsApp, de-activate some apps from my phone and get back once I feel a little sane. And then it starts again.
 
I travel in the Delhi Metro very often. And trust me, all the necks are down, the thumbs are twiddling, the faces are deadpan – it looks scary and abnormal…as if I suddenly entered another planet where people don’t speak, don’t exchange smiles, don’t converse, don’t bother anymore. All they need is that phone like an oxygen mask – like a survival kit.
 
Have you noticed how cranky people get when the WiFi is down or when the phone charger is not around?
 
Have you noticed someone standing alone and trying to take selfies after selfies but not getting the right shot and feeling so agitated as if it’s the end of the world.
 
Have you noticed how people try to pose sexy and just look good in all the pictures, no trace of a genuine smile?
Do the number of “likes” or hearts on your latest profile picture affect your self-confidence?
 
Does the absence of a good morning message from your boyfriend make you feel he loves you any less?
 
Have you had issues because the person obviously read your message but did not reply? Thanks (or no thanks) to the blue ticks.
 
Do you realize how much this sucks? 🙂
 
A rehab would be nice.
 
A rehab would be really nice.
 

Just me. 

That time of the week when I need to get away. Yeah, it happens once every week, either closer to the weekend or after it. 

What is it that I am looking for? The eternal quest for that something … I can’t put a finger on. 

For now, I don’t want to know what’s happening in the lives of all these people (close, not so close, acquaintances and strangers) so I have extracted myself out of all these spaces like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat & Instagram. Starting today, I am reconnecting with the self, maybe that’s what’s missing. I tried it earlier but failed…no shame. I have neglected myself, no shame. But now, knowing that it’s harming my very essence, if I still neglect the problem – it’s all my fault. 

I am glad I have the gift of expression through the medium of the written word. Exploring .. happily. This feels good. It does feel good! 

I am going to check out a hotel where my parents are planning to get me and my love married to each other. Eeeeeee. Yes, bride to be. I have all things wedding on my head and a few more….

Next post : A few photos from my weekend trip to Kasauli in Himachal Pradesh, India. 

Love,

Dipti